Official Casey & Nigel Foreclosure Avoidance Tips

Sitting back, resting from a long week of work, sipping a beer or two, let's try to get some constructive Foreclosure Avoidance Tips based on what we've learned the past few months from Casey & Nigel:

Foreclosure Avoider Tip #1: If your wife is going into her 7th year of a 2 year program, giving her a cute little clipboard and putting her in charge of a "fix n' flip" is probably a bad idea.

Foreclosure Avoiders Google Ranking Wars and I Need More Junk

For my legion of fan,

Please do a search for foreclosure avoiders via Google and post what you get in your results, i'm curious to see if indeed everyone gets the same rankings.

foreclosure avoiders (no quotes), get's me this ranking:

1. IAFF
2. What Casey Means To Say (WHERE DID THIS DARK HORSE COME FROM?? USA! USA!)
3. Foreclosure Avoiders Ruined My Life
4. Foreclosure Avoiders Changed My Life
5. Foreclosure Avoiders (Chat Hub)

Also, if you know of junky widgets, gadgets and junk I can put into this page, please let me know in comments as well. I find I too am distracted by shiny things.

Foreclosure Avoiders Ranking War... It's Go Time

Nigel "Pinz" Swaby takes the lead in the Google Foreclosure Avoiders Wars. It's go time, I have no idea how to do SEO, but I will take on the bums at Foreclosure Avoiders, the slugs at Foreclosure Avoiders Changed My Life and EMERGE VICTORIOUS!

Coming soon, written by a crack team of link whores, anonymous members of the clan Swaby, Casey Serin's hair stylist, someone who only goes by Trampolina and the world-reknowned expert on all things not related to facing foreclosure, foreclosure avoidance, foreclosure avoiders and foreclosure reisistance, Nigel's Guest Blogger WILL TAKE ON THIS CHALLENGE!

Much like George Bush, I will declare WAR ON the Swabtard and Flailing Forward WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PLAN OF ACTION.

If you are indeed facing foreclosure and have stumbled upon this blog and are really looking for foreclosure avoiders to help you out, do yourself a favor in an already challenging environment. Don't call a "Real Estate Investor" who seems to only invest in time on the web manipulating search engine rankings without having any substantial knowledge.

I'm Utterly Disgusted.

Look at those cocky S-O-Bs over at FACML... I have sent repeated faxes to their offices regarding my $39 and i'm still looking for that "missing minute" i was promised when I eagerly signed up.

I am in dire straits here looking for a patented Foreclosure Avoidance System, give them my money in good faith, what I do get in return?

THOSE BASTARDS send me a marketing kit for their latest pyramid scheme asking me to join in for the small investment of $2500 (which they say I should just get from a corporation broker who can secure me a 5k line of credit for $2900 worth of education).

I've clipped some things from the brochure to show you what a scam their new new "Hair Growth to Avoid Foreclosure and Gain Wealth With No Money Down" is really all about.

They say it's a win-win situation for anyone who is looking to rebound from possible Non-Foreclosure Avoidance. They are even stupid enough to include their secret incredients, which are listed below:

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I Thought I Was Saved.

I admit it, I got in way over my head. I purchased a couple homes with 100% financing today with no money down.

Turns out, hours later after making these purchases I realize I made a horrible, horrible mistake.

The banks have already started the foreclosure process on me. I thought about an hour ago I was doomed. My back was against the wall and having just $30 to my name I was pretty sure i was going to have to go into bankruptcy.

Then SALVATION came to me in the form of a leather wearing, deligthtful smelling person from Utah.

I called the number listed on his site and he happily took my my last $30 and promised me not only would I avoid foreclosure, but I would also be able to shake, miss and avert foreclosure as well.

After only 20 minutes (they promised 21!) they had only recommended getting into the "Jewelry" business. This later turned out to be nothing more than hocking used olympic pins at the mall.

I was devastated. My last $30 is gone, I have nowhere else to turn and within the past few hours have acquired over a million dollars in new debt.