Thursday, May 31, 2007

We Win.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Breaking FARML Exclusive!! That's FARML, Not FACML!!!

Contrary to internet rumors, CaseySwabCo, Inc. is pleased to announce an exclusive 3 month contract with the Fox network in an upcoming reality show, The Simpleton Life.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Nigel Swaby's Language-Implode-O-Meter

Follow the action in real-time (or whenever i'm really bored) here.

Friday, May 4, 2007

Official Casey & Nigel Foreclosure Avoidance Tips

Sitting back, resting from a long week of work, sipping a beer or two, let's try to get some constructive Foreclosure Avoidance Tips based on what we've learned the past few months from Casey & Nigel:

Foreclosure Avoider Tip #1: If your wife is going into her 7th year of a 2 year program, giving her a cute little clipboard and putting her in charge of a "fix n' flip" is probably a bad idea.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Foreclosure Avoiders Google Ranking Wars and I Need More Junk

For my legion of fan,

Please do a search for foreclosure avoiders via Google and post what you get in your results, i'm curious to see if indeed everyone gets the same rankings.

foreclosure avoiders (no quotes), get's me this ranking:

3. Foreclosure Avoiders Ruined My Life
4. Foreclosure Avoiders Changed My Life
5. Foreclosure Avoiders (Chat Hub)

Also, if you know of junky widgets, gadgets and junk I can put into this page, please let me know in comments as well. I find I too am distracted by shiny things.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Aspiring Web Journalist Lands Real Estate Chat Capabilities of the Year

May 1, 2007 -- Nigel Swaby, a licensed mortgage broker and industry writer, is pleased to announce today that in addition to his wildly successful industry and fan boy blogs that he has increased his chat capabilities 300%.

"I am pleased to make myself more available to my thousands of loyal fans online," said Swaby.

Fans of "The Swab," as he is affectionalty known, can now "para" (Swabbites call chatting para, after paraphrasing for which Swaby is universally known) with him on 3 blogs throughout the net. The original Cliff Notes blog, Foreclosure Avoiders Ruined My Life and Foreclosure Avoiders Changed My Life.

"This gives me a greater footprint in the free blog site arena, much more than a humble pin salesman could imagine."

Rumors of commercial deal with Axe Body Spray are still unconfirmed.

Casey's Short Bus

Casey, any chance to get Trampolina... errr, I mean G to snap some pics in a Century 21 jacket?

Foreclosure Avoiders Ranking War... It's Go Time

Nigel "Pinz" Swaby takes the lead in the Google Foreclosure Avoiders Wars. It's go time, I have no idea how to do SEO, but I will take on the bums at Foreclosure Avoiders, the slugs at Foreclosure Avoiders Changed My Life and EMERGE VICTORIOUS!

Coming soon, written by a crack team of link whores, anonymous members of the clan Swaby, Casey Serin's hair stylist, someone who only goes by Trampolina and the world-reknowned expert on all things not related to facing foreclosure, foreclosure avoidance, foreclosure avoiders and foreclosure reisistance, Nigel's Guest Blogger WILL TAKE ON THIS CHALLENGE!

Much like George Bush, I will declare WAR ON the Swabtard and Flailing Forward WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PLAN OF ACTION.

If you are indeed facing foreclosure and have stumbled upon this blog and are really looking for foreclosure avoiders to help you out, do yourself a favor in an already challenging environment. Don't call a "Real Estate Investor" who seems to only invest in time on the web manipulating search engine rankings without having any substantial knowledge.

Monday, April 30, 2007

You can take the pin off the man....

But low-rent retail sales are hard to escape. Eh, mon?

Bejiing 2008 Olympics here we come! USA! USA! USA!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

I'm Utterly Disgusted.

Look at those cocky S-O-Bs over at FACML... I have sent repeated faxes to their offices regarding my $39 and i'm still looking for that "missing minute" i was promised when I eagerly signed up.

I am in dire straits here looking for a patented Foreclosure Avoidance System, give them my money in good faith, what I do get in return?

THOSE BASTARDS send me a marketing kit for their latest pyramid scheme asking me to join in for the small investment of $2500 (which they say I should just get from a corporation broker who can secure me a 5k line of credit for $2900 worth of education).

I've clipped some things from the brochure to show you what a scam their new new "Hair Growth to Avoid Foreclosure and Gain Wealth With No Money Down" is really all about.

They say it's a win-win situation for anyone who is looking to rebound from possible Non-Foreclosure Avoidance. They are even stupid enough to include their secret incredients, which are listed below: